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Sunday, November 29, 2009
i dont understand you. you call yourself adults, but the way both of you are settling things are like damn childish. you always end the arguments by saying you are tired, and asking me to do whatever i felt like doing. when you have nothing better to argue back with me. fuck. so what now? cold war? cold shoulder treatment? or feigning ignorance and act as if you don't fucking give a damn? seriously, this time, i don't give a fuck cus i'm seriously as tired as you said you are. i seriously don't want to go through a second round of what happened last year. you can feel whatever you want, i can and i'm prepared to talk things out anytime you are ready. i'm not being rude when i talk, i'm just saying things that are expressing what i truly felt. if you still think that i'm rude, then just too bad. and btw, what you are doing now, is not love, its controlling. don't tell me its cus you both are concern so whatever shit. if thats the case, children kept at home should be safer than kids out. but really, the statistic don't show that. you never gave me a chance to express how i feel. you never trusted me. cus if you did like you said, you should have trusted my judgements as well. mummy & daddy, i know who i'm mixing with more than both of you do. i know how to protect myself and take care of myself. you should trust me. cus i'm trying already all ways to gain your trust by letting you be involved in my life; letting you know who i'm mixing with, where i'm going, what time i will be back etc etc. but everytime i tell you the truth, everything goes haywire. so how the fuck am i suppose to tell you whatever i'm doing when things always end up so screwed after telling you the truth. okay , i shan't be so selfish and push all the blame to you. everything turned out so scewed cus of both of us, i admit. you, because your so-called defination of a "good-kid" is to stay at home whole day, do the mundane housework chores and most importantly, do what you say. but sorry, i have different views. and it's not like i hadn't told you whatever i've blogged here. i told you everything, and even more. but you always choose not to listen and end it off with, i'm tired, do whatever you like. in anyway, i won't repeat last year events again. i won't leave home again. but this time, i will apologise first, if you think that i'm a disappoinment, then so be it. cus i'm already tired, as much as you do, to try to do things to amend things that i don't even find that its my fault. then again, i'm sorry for being such a disappointment, if thats what you want to hear at the end of this whole shit. _______________________________________ |
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